lake and carson

trying to find time for us

Lake

I slapped the button on the alarm before the shrilling noise could wake up my sleeping husband.

I felt him slip into bed at four a.m. this morning still smelling of smoke. Carson always showered before coming to bed, he didn’t like smelling of smoke funnily enough. However last night he must have been too tired, I decided when I spied his boots still on his feet dangling over the end of the mattress also noticing that he didn’t even make it under the blankets or even next to me. His big muscled body was half way down the bed, his head level with my butt.

Shocked and hurt, I eased out of the bed as carefully. Doing my best not to gasp, cry, scream or sob uncontrollably. Grabbing some clothes from the dresser and walk-in robe, I tiptoed into our en-suite and gathered up everything I needed, then walked quietly out of our bedroom, closing the door with a quiet snick and headed to the kid’s bathroom.

Rushing down the hallway, I didn’t stop until I had myself locked in the bathroom before I allowed the tears and sobs loose.

For weeks now Carson and I had not been connecting as husband and wife as much as we did as the mum and the dad or the business owner and fire chief.

Between our jobs and five children, two of which were under three, two ones involved in various sports and after school activities and one in her first year of university Carson and I didn’t have time to scratch our butts, let alone do anything else with them.

Dashing around the small room, doing my best to avoid the rubber duckies, cricket balls and the plethora of toy cars my two youngest boys deemed necessary to have in the bath with them, I reached into the shower to heat up the water before turning around only to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. What greeted me nearly frightened the crap out of me.

When had I stopped taking my make-up off before going to bed?

And when was the last time I sat in a hairdresser? Combing my fingers through my matted blonde hair, I could make out the split ends even from where I was standing away from the mirror.

When had life gotten so busy that I forgot about looking after me?

Then there was the sneaking suspicion I had that I was expecting another baby. For the last month my stomach had been queasy, my moods erratic and the smell of meat turned my stomach into a bucket of vomit.

Just like Leith’s pregnancy.

Grimacing at the sight of my split ends, my dry dull hair and the … oh my god and the pimple on my chin, I shook my head and pondered where all my time went.

Between Dom and River’s sports, the café and running after a nearly four year old and a two year old, somehow I managed to allow myself to turn into something from a horror movie.

The bathroom started to fill up with steam but nothing not even the prospect of wasting cherished tank water could make me stop looking at the train-wreck I had become.

Under my eyes was a congealed concoction of eyeliner and clumpy mascara making me resemble a raccoon.

“Oh god Carson must have seen me when he came to bed,” I cried softly. “No wonder he slept above the covers and half way down the bed. Who would want to come face to face with this,” I wailed, pulling at my cheeks frantically with my fingers.

“He probably can’t bring himself to look at me, which is why he is taking all these extra shifts.” I spat at atrocious reflection.

Yanking off my tee, I tossed it at the mirror giving it a look of disgust.

When had I stopped wearing sexy lingerie?

Stomping into the shower I closed the sliding door harder than needed I did the only thing that made sense.

I burst into uncontrollable sobs.

The fear that I was in danger of losing the love of my life feeding my meltdown.

carson

“Lake!” I yelled out as I made my way through my unusually quiet home.

Glancing at my watch, I noticed the time and felt my brows come together.

“Where the fuck is my family?” I muttered heading back to the part of the house the bedrooms were located. After the fire that took the house and very nearly took the life of whole world, Lake and I rebuilt the house in much the same design as the original house. It had been important to Lake, Brookey and River that their parents still had a presence in our home. Unfortunately we had not been able to save much more than a couple of photos and my mother-in-law’s beloved cup and saucer, so making the outside the same had been a priority. The only stipulation had come from me, a simple requirement but an important one.

The kid’s wing had to be on the other side of the house.

We had a small nursey connected to our room, one used by a newborn Bay and Leith until they reached a year old then we moved them into their own room where the other kids slept.

Leith, our youngest son, named after a body of water in Scotland, his name literally meaning flowing water, was two and totally different from his brothers and sister. I joked that we should have broken with Lake’s tradition naming our kids after water and should have gone with hurricane instead.

Stepping over cricket gear, trucks, shoes and everything else the kids dropped on their way from the front door to their rooms, I hurried down the hallway and opened every door on my way to find my wife.

My wife.

Just thinking about Lake brought a smile to my face, a pep in my step and a serious hard-on in my pants. My Sprite was just as beautiful today after gifting me with two more sons as she had been the first day I met her when I walked into her café and caught her talking to herself about wanting an orgasm.

Busy laughing at the memory, I realised that while lost thinking about Lake I had opened every room door and still I had not found her or any of my kids.

It was Saturday right? Surely I had not slept the whole weekend away and the kids were at school and Lake at the café? After Bay was born, Lake gave up her weekend shifts at the busy shop and instead hired a perfectly capable manager to take over from her so we got to spend more time as a family. My weekend shifts at the station were few and far between since my second promotion to commander, a perk of the top job I took full advantage of.

The last week however, had messed up my plans, my time with my kids and sexy time with my sprite. Staff shortages and shit from upper management meant I had pulled more than three extra shifts at head office and in the fire truck. Nothing pleased me more to get back in the truck again, geared up and fighting fires, but I could have done without the long haul drives to Bendigo to kiss arse with the brass.

Walking back up the hallway, I absently looked in the door of the bathroom and what I saw made me come up short.

What the fuck!

Storming into the room, I took in the vanity where Lake’s toiletries were scattered on the porcelain counter top. Creams, her make-up case, even her brush and shampoo sat there, the wrongness of seeing them anywhere but in our en-suite confused me.

Did she not shower in our bathroom this morning? Why the hell would she do that, she knew I could sleep through just about anything especially after a long shift and two house fires and a multiple vehicle collision on the highway at one in the morning.

What was going through her head to do something like this.

Banging my fist against the wall, I growled at the thought that Lake was hiding something from me, or perhaps she was just hiding from me. That thought pissed me off more than seeing her stuff here instead of our bathroom. Lake was my other half, the strongest beat of my heart. My kids meant the world to me, all of them. Brookey and River were more like kids to me than brother and sister-in-law. I couldn’t love them more if they were my own. River had become my shadow since I met his sister, he even showed interest in becoming a firefighter and made me proud as shit when he recently joined the local volunteer brigade as a junior member.

Then there was my babies, Bay and Leith, my mini Me’s. Lake and I created not only cute as shit kids, but we had the family both of us always wanted and we did it together.

We always did things together, and that meant using the same fucking bathroom.

Glaring at the objects in front of me, I spied the small rubbish bin Lake had obviously emptied just recently because it didn’t have a bag liner in it. Snatching it up, I tossed all the beauty products into it then turned on my heals and marched out of the room intending to take them back where they belonged when my phone rang in my pocket.

Shifting the basket to the crook of my arm, I pulled out my phone and answered it without breaking stride on the way back to my room.

“Hogan.” I clipped.

“Hoges, question for ya mate,” Chase asked me in a desperate voice. In the background I could hear the unmistakable sound of my youngest son’s giggles.

“What is Leith doing at your place?” I demanded with a growl. The weekends were family time for Christ sake, Lake knew I didn’t need to sleep long, she knew how much I looked forward to time with my boys and her.

“Yeah, now listen, how on board are you with me giving your two year old a sedative?” Chase asked me, his voice now close to shouting because my boy was laughing louder in-between making the sounds of a fire truck siren.

Suppressing a laugh but not my smile, I shook my head and took a deep breath.

“Not at all. Now tell me where my wife is Axe.” I demanded again quickly losing patience with my Station manager. Both Chase and Hoove went up in rank when I did, Hoove now senior station boss.

“How the hell do I know!” his shouted coincided with a high pitched ninja cry from my boy making me bellow out a laugh.

“Lake turned up in tears at eight a.m. this morning, Legs ushered her into our bedroom for an hour then both of the came out and went out. Leaving me with Luna and your simply delightful home destroying wrecking balls.”

My laughter died when I heard that Lake had been crying. What in the devil was going on with my wife? Leaving me sleeping and taking off with the kids on a Saturday, hell I woke up half way down the bed on top of the covers, my boots still on because I had been so fucking tired from all the extra shifts. This week Lake and I had not made love once, something we never—.

Oh my fucking god!

Jesus surely Lake was not thinking—

Yes, yes she most definitely probably was.

Oh that silly gorgeous woman.

I now knew exactly what was wrong with my wife. Knew where her head took her, and why she showered in the kids bathroom and left without waking me.

I wanted to know only two things.

One, where was my wife now.

And two … did I really just hear Bay ask if he could tie his baby brother to Chase’s horse?

lake

My phone pinged in my bag with another text message. And just like the last six I ignored it.

“Your husband is blowing up my phone, as is my husband,” Jamie informed me, her eyes widening comically as she read the latest text from either Chase or Carson. A snort left Jamie then full out laughter, making me interested to know which fireman was responsible for her outburst.

“Yours or mine?” I asked closing my eyes again not wanting to look at the mirror in front of me. since sitting down in the chair at the salon two hours ago I refused to look at the train wreck in my reflection. This morning after I broke down in the shower, then again while I was getting the kids breakfast, then again in Dom’s arms just before I dropped him and River off at the station for Junior firefighters, I called the two people I trusted the most with my concerns, a three way call that I wished now I never made.

Once I blubbered out my story and my concerns about the possibility Carson might not be in love with me anymore. My best friend seemed to think my theory was hilarious and basically laughed herself into a coughing fit. Of course, Hoove blew a gasket wanting to know why his wife was currently rolling on the floor gasping for breath in-between fits of laughter … so I told him too. I ended up hanging up on the two cackling hyenas and headed to Jamie’s place.

She calmed me down then we jumped into the car, leaving the three little ones with Chase. My plan was simple.

Get back to looking like the Lake that Carson fell in love with, no gummie bears stuck on the arse of my old tracky dacks, no Lego in my hair or snotty tissues stuffed in my bra strap. And no split ends!

Logically I knew nothing was wrong with my marriage. Logically my brain knew our busy life was the culprit. And logically I knew it was my hormones doubling up to make me the crazy irrational woman I became this morning. But all that logic didn’t match up with the ache in my heart at the mere thought of losing Carson.

Jamie convinced me I needed a minute to be Lake and not mum or sister or boss. She also convinced me to take a pregnancy test while we were holed up in her room.

“Apparently Chase said if you or Carson don’t come and get the two terrors you call your kids he is going to divorce me, then book in for a vasectomy,” Jamie said snorting out a huff. “Yeah right, that man is so addicted to me if he doesn’t get a fix of me at least twice a day he loses the will to live.” Her confidence making me giggle.

“He doesn’t want more kids? Are you both stopping at Luna?” I asked her not bothering with remarking on the divorce comment from Chase. Jamie was not lying about Chase’s complete and total devotion to his wife.

I didn’t like to gloat, but secretly I took all the credit for my two wonderful friends getting together.

“It isn’t that. More kids are definitely on our radar just not yet. Luna isn’t even two yet, and Chase wants to absorb every second with her as he can. He wasn’t around full-time when Prue was that age, sharing custody meant he missed out on every morning time, every bath time, every giggle. When he is at the right place in his head and his heart I will be ready too.” Jamie explained gently but firmly.

Pulling my hand out from under the plastic cape and reached out and grabbed Jamie’s hand.

“I am so glad I got you two in the same room. You are such a wonderful couple.” I gushed tears leaking at the corner of my eyes.

“Oh for goodness sake Lake,” Jamie huffed , “do you really still think you are the reason Chase and I fell in love?” she groaned but the quirk of her lips ruined her scolding.

“I know I am.” I replied smugly.

“You might be the best match-maker out there, but I have created a masterpiece.” Simone, the hairdresser announced with a flourish of her hands.

“Take a look Lake.” Jamie encouraged me, a happy grin on her pretty face.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I counted to ten, then twenty then forty before my rapidly beating heart calmed down enough.

Feeling the Velcro at my neck be released and the cape removed with a swish, I slowly opened my eyes and looked forward.

“Oh. My. Word.” I whispered, seeing for the first time what the lovely Simone had done to me while I was busy contemplating the imaginary problems in my marriage.

“You look fan-fucking-tastic!” Jamie cried at the same time I said something completely different.

“Carson is going to kill me.”

carson

“Are you sure you are going to be okay with them Brooke? Chase fed them so much sugar I nearly had to strap them into their car seats with rope as well as the belts.” I asked Brookey just as Bay sped down the hallway towards his room with his little brother hot on his heals.

When I finally got to Chase’s and yanked some sense out of him, I found out that my wife was at the hairdressers with Jamie. The fucking hair salon getting her hair done and whatever else a woman did there that took all fucking day.

Planning my next move thankfully didn’t take much more than a phone call and one hundred bucks. Brooke was now in university but luckily she chose one close to home, just across the other side of town. Getting her to come home was easy, convincing her to look after her sugar induced little brothers resulted in the monetary bribe.

“Yes they are a little more full on than normal. But you know what they say? What goes up eventually has to come down,” she joked, “and when they finally crash they are going to sleep for a very long time.”

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my keys off the kitchen counter.

“Good luck with that sweetheart. Hey Brookey, thanks for doing this. Your sister and I need some time alone without the holly terrors,” I told her. Determination to get Lake alone and talking about what the hell was going on with her my only focus now. The boys would be fine with their big sister, and with the other two boys organised at mates houses I could concentrate on my wife.

“Go Carson, you and Lake are so busy lately it’s a wonder you see each other at all,” Brooke said before she turned around and headed in the direction of the screaming banshee’s.

Making my way out to my car, I got in and started up the engine my destination was a small bed and breakfast thirty kilometres from here on the outskirts of Daylesford. I had already texted my beautiful runaway wife, several times without any reply from her. my final one being less than friendly or worried as the others. I told her to go to the café, get in the car with Libby and let Libby drive her to the address I supplied. I had already clued Lake’s main and trusted employee in on what was going on and once she heard my suspicions as to what Lake was thinking, she had been only too happy to help me. Libby liked to push Lake’s buttons and I had no doubt on the drive there she would have given Lake shit about her stupid thoughts.

Turning on the radio, I eased comfortably in the seat and did my best to calm down. The last few hours had been an exercise in patience and control on my part. I was normally a pretty chill kind of a guy, but when my wife disappeared and refused to answer my frantic calls or texts, that did nothing to elevate my panic or my temper.

Lake knew better, she knew me. She also knew how I felt about her. How much I fucking loved her, needed her. I got that I had been preoccupied lately, even absent from the family. But she should have spoken to me, talked, asked questions. She definitely should not have went MIA without letting me know is she was okay. One fucking text saying I am fine hunky hose man would have sufficed.

But did she? No instead she ignored me and went radio silent. Crying and making up shit in her head.

I was taking full blame for the mess she was creating in her head and for today, I accepted the responsibility. My role as husband was not only to provide safety for my kids, a roof over their heads and food in their bellies but also, to make sure that my wife felt nothing but loved and cherished and wanted. Somehow I failed in that, although Lake’s inability to share her feelings and obvious doubts meant she failed me. Her trust in me wavered when it should never falter.

By the time I made it to the log cabin I rented for the weekend, my temper was back to near on boiling point. Not all of my anger was for Lake, no I owned most of it. She was going to suffer through a lecture on leaving without a word, and not letting me know she was safe. That shit was unacceptable.

On the other hand, my own arse needed a good kicking. Lately I had been taking Lake’s role fin the family with the kids for granted. Letting her pick up the slack with Bay and Leith, dealing with driving the older boys all over town to their after school activities as well as dealing with a successful and very busy business. Just yesterday before I ran out the door and giving her a brief and rushed kiss that landed on her chin, I noticed the hurt look that clouded her pretty face, and the way her silver eyes that I loved so much widened in shock. I honestly intended to ring her later and apologise to her, but … well I guess there was no but, I put work ahead of my wife and that was totally unacceptable.

Walking to the small metal box that hung near the front door, I entered the 4-digit security code the company gave me via a text message and took out the front door key.

Unlocking the door, I stepped inside the small house and smiled at what I saw.

Perfect!

A very comfortable looking couch faced a huge fireplace, a small lamp table, two leather chair and a very shaggy rug was all that made up the main room. Off to the left was a dining table, an old scared antique cabinet and next to that a kitchenette that appeared to have all the essentials so you didn’t have to leave the comfort of the cabin. Exactly what Lake and I needed. Heading back to the car, I grabbed the overnight bag I packed for both of us, locked the car then started back up the stone path when my phone rang. At least I think it was my phone, because the song playing was not my boring but appropriate ringtone. Taking out my phone, I looked at the screen and sighed.

“Carson.”

“Yo it’s Hoove.”

“Yes, I know you idiot your ugly face came up on the screen. Also when did you program my phone to ring with the song Bat Out Of Hell?” I asked him then decided I didn’t want to know. Hoove did things for reasons no one could understand, Tate was the only person I knew that adored her husband’s crazy.

“Never mind, I don’t want to know. Is she on the way?”

“Yep. I’m three cars back from them. They should be truing onto the road in a few minutes, want me to keep following them until they get to the cabin?” Hoove asked me.

“Nah all good mate. Hey Hoove, thanks mate. You sure you don’t mind checking in on Brookey and the boys later tonight?”

“No a worry Hoges, Tate and I are going to grab some barbeque shit and take it over to your place. Tate wants Mason to interact with as many kids as possible with him being an only kid and all.” Hoove explained and just knowing that my best mate was going to be at my house tonight meant I didn’t have to worry and could focus one hundred percent on reacquainting myself with my sprite’s luscious body.

The sound of an approaching car coming down the dirt road caught my attention.

“Lake is here mate. Again, thanks Dylan. I owe you one.”

Hoove snorted a laugh, “Mate I will add it to your tally. But seriously Hoges, just sort this shit out. Listening to Lake on the phone this morning might have been funny at the time, but she is thinking some pretty fucked up crap mate. Do I seriously need to give you some lessons on how to keep your wife happy and satisfied.” Hoove said in the cocky way that was all Dylan ‘Hoove’ Grant.

“Get fucked.” I growled then pressed the end button, cutting off the sound of his bellowing laughter.

How did I end up with two clowns for best mates? I asked myself. Tossing the bag onto the front porch, I spun on my heels just as I heard a car door slam closed. Even without looking up I could feel the presence of the reason my heart kept beating every day. My cock stirred in my pants just knowing she was here.

Remember you still need to talk first then you can make love to her until we both pass out.

“Carson?” Lake called out in a small nervous voice.

Why does she sound nervous?

Distracted with putting my phone back in my pocket, I had yet to look up when the car pulled up. When I did though …

“Where is all your hair!” I yelled.

lake

The whole car ride Libby refused to answer any of my questions. Not one single one, and there had been plenty. All I got out of her was a strange comment about wanting her own hunky hose man, and some talk about spankings and rope.

I wasn’t too sure where she was taking me and indeed what I was going to be doing there was we arrived, but to say I was worried was an understatement.

That worry quickly escalated when Libby turned of the highway and onto a dirt road. That was about the time I really thought I was being kidnapped by my own friend and café manager. Panic then set in when we pulled up to a quaint log cabin where my husband’s car was parked out the front. My husband standing on the front porch with his back to the approaching car.

Carson?

This is all his idea?

“Okay this is where you get out boss lady.” Libby announced, reaching over me to open my door with a heft shove then clicked my seatbelt and released it.

“But … why … Carson … my kids … what … why?” I stammered not looking at Libby. My eyes were firmly rivetted on the sexy body of my man.

“Out. Now. Go. Immediately.” Libby ordered me, a ear splitting grin on her face.

Shocked at the sudden turn of events, and seeing my husband here and not seeing my kids, I stumbled out of the car, then jumped out of the way when Libby leaned over and pulled the door closed, nearly hitting me in the hip in the process.

I turned and watched Libby back out then take off down the dirt road back to the highway.

What the dickens is going on?

Shaking my head, and feeling weird when I did. I was used to feeling so much more hair when I moved. This new length was going to take a bit of getting used to. I just hoped that Carson would be in agreement with my decision, and with the other surprise I had for him.

Taking a few steps forward on the gravel, I was suddenly overcome with real nerves. Carson and I had not been completely alone since before Bay was born, and for the first time since Carson and I became a couple, I felt unsure of myself, if Carson was still attracted to me, hence the new hair-do.

“Carson?” I called out in a small unsure voice. Time to find out the what and why of all this.

Carson looked up, already I could see a smile on his face as he shoved his phone back in his jeans pocket.

Hmmm Carson had the whole sexy jeans thing down pat.

“Where is all your hair!” His loud angry shout penetrated through my sex fogged brain.

Oh shit!

Instantly, tears pricked the back of my eyes. Oh god he hates it.

carson

I saw the second Lake tensed when I yelled at her, and shame coursed through me.

Fuck!

Storming down the steps, I ran down the path and didn’t stop until I reached my wife taking her in my arms.

“Fuck baby, sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that honey.” I crooned, wrapping her tight against me. Despite my overreaction to her new haircut, my body really liked having her breasts pressed up against me again. Never again, never again were we going to go so long without intimate contact or any other kind of contact. Hugging, kissing, holding hands or just cuddling on the couch when the kids go to bed. Never again.

Lake’s hands inched between our bodies, her small fists grabbing hold of my shirt.

“I did it to look prettier. My hair was looking so horrible and drab and I can only imagine what you must be thinking coming home to such a train wreck every day.” Lake sobbed into my shirt, her words muffled but I heard enough to understand I was fucking up.

Pulling my arms from her waist, I replaced my hands on her cheeks, wiping the waterfall of tears away with my thumbs.

“Lake, baby. How can you think for one second I don’t see anything else but perfection when I look at you. There is no one that can turn my head but you, no one that makes my heart beat faster and,” pressing a gentle kiss to her lip, tasting her salty tears I breathed for what felt like the first time in a week. “no one that makes my cock harder than you do Sprite. I love you more today than I did when I first kissed you at the station. Nothing and no one will ever change that Lake.” I promised her, looking into her silver eyes and finally seeing the pretty blue flecks that shone like hidden gems in a sea of silver.

“I love you too honey, I thought—”

“I know what you have been thinking Lake, and while it pisses me off that you went there I understand the reasons behind it. Your logic is warped, but I get it,” I said giving her a mock glare.

“It has been a rough week Carson,” Lake admitted lifting up on her toes so she could kiss me. The feel of her lips on mine shot a spark of desire through me and all I wanted was Lake under me, and to be inside her.

“Always talk to me baby, that’s what we do, we talk about every concern, no matter how stupid. I can’t fix things if you shut me out.” I pleaded, holding my lips on hers, not wanting to break the contact between us.

“I promise honey.” Lake kissed me again, her lips soft and yielding under mine.

“I need you Lake, need your body bare, your pussy milking my cock then your sweet mouth and lips all over me.” I groaned into her mouth, before plunging my tongue inside her warm mouth finding hers.

Lake moaned low in her throat, the sounds pulling at my balls.

“Now Lake. Now!” I growled putting my arms back around her waist and lifting her up and hurrying back up the path. We still had more to talk about, first I had to tell her I did actually love her new hairstyle. Lake’s hair apart from her stunning face and her beautiful eyes was her best feature. I loved how it, the length the feel of it draped across my bare chest. Admittedly the shoulder length suited her, the ends were kind of fluffed out and a little thinner but it did look sexy.

“Carson?” Lake murmured as her mouth trailed a path over my throat, her tongue licking at my skin.

“Mmmm?” I managed to get out, taking one hand off her arse to hold her face in place so there was no way she could stop what she was doing to me.

“I’m pregnant honey.” She whispered rocking my world those three simple words.

My steps faulted, my heart pounded painfully in my chest.

“What?” I croaked.

“We are having another baby.” She replied now nibbling on my earlobe, driving me insane with desire and my heart full of pure love at the same time.

Reaching the open door to the cabin, I stepped inside and closed it making sure to lock it.

Lake could see what the cabin looks like later, first she was going to get very familiar with the bedroom, especially the bed.

The love I had for this small beautiful woman multiplied every day.

“You give me so much Lake, beautiful kids and so much love my beautiful Sprite.” I whispered against her mouth.

“You do the same for me Carson, you make me feel so safe and cherished and loved, my hunky hose man.”

Laughing at the silly nickname she gave me on the best day of my life.

The day I met a silver eyed sprite and fell head over heals in love, and I was still falling.

the end.